Yume no Nake e
by Lelu
Summary: Told from one of the senshi's point of view, this person describes how it feels like to give up dreams...and to accept them.


8/25/01  
  
  
Yume no Naka e (Into the Dream)  
Lelu  
Rated: G  
leluh16@yahoo.com  
  
  
Thank you to all who helped me with this story, guiding it   
so that it could be up to their own personal standards. ^_~  
  
Disclaimer: Despite the fact that I repeatedly tell myself   
that I do own SM and any other anime, I don't. Wanna   
fight?  
  
--  
  
Dedicated to all those who dream…  
  
--  
  
Have you ever dreamed before? Not the type of dream   
that occurs during sleep, but a dream that was your one   
true goal in life? A dream so pure and bright that you   
would do almost anything in order to attain it? To   
accomplish it?  
  
To make the dream, your dream, into a reality?  
  
I had a dream once, a long, long time ago. I suppose you   
could say that this dream of mine still exists. But now, it   
is something that has faded away, but no matter how far I   
try to push it away, knowing that it will never come true, I   
know that it will never ever truly disappear. But because   
it took me so long to realize that this one fantasy of mine   
wouldn't really become a truth, I was in denial. For so   
long, I thought that there was nothing I wanted more than   
to achieve this goal I had created for myself, something   
that I thought would be the pinnacle of light in my dull,   
dreary life.  
  
But then I realized something. . . . Being a secret Soldier   
of Justice was not a job or dream to be ashamed of, nor   
would this sort of life be considered dull and dreary in   
any way. I suppose it would be a life considered . . .   
exciting to just about any person. But to me, after   
thousands of years of the same routine, it's a normal and   
average day when we, the Senshi, are called to fight   
against non-human enemies, even though we all know   
that our lives are a far cry from normal. To be able to   
teleport, transform, call on my powers in order to defeat   
the current enemy of the day, of the month, of the year…   
It's just the same boring thing every year after year.  
  
But these years are passing by all too quickly. Time is   
flying by rapidly, and I can't keep track of everything   
anymore. These battles capture me, heart and soul, and   
I'm too busy to notice anything outside of my warrior life.   
I am consumed by the fights and by the wars, never   
realizing until too late that a year, or even twenty years,   
have passed by already.  
  
But I only have so much time. And although I don't want   
to admit it, my body and mind are aging. We might not   
look a day over 25, and probably never will, but I can feel   
myself slowing down, perhaps not mentally, but definitely   
physically. And during process, I find that in every   
moment that I am living, the hope of ever leaving my   
Senshi duty in order to go after my dream is fading away.   
I feel like that there wouldn't ever be a way to achieve my   
dream. Because I am bound by duty and by honor to   
protect my Princess. To protect my Prince. Any lesser   
person could have deserted this position, this role. But I   
am also bound by something greater:  
  
Love.  
  
I have realized many times in my life that Serenity and   
Endymion have given me many chances to back away   
from my role of a Senshi. When I was younger, I would   
often regret each time I shook my head no to refuse the   
offer, but now I can see that I did make the right choice--  
the choice of not deserting the two I love most. And   
because I stood by them proudly in every battle my love   
for the two only grew stronger, the cord of destiny   
unraveling with every decision I made. Even so, I did not   
refuse these offers without thinking out the reasons as to   
why they would even ask me the question in the first   
place! At first, I had believed that the only reason why   
they would offer me my 'freedom' was out of pity, and out   
of their desire to be free from the five of us. Perhaps even   
guilt they had hidden away in their souls for years,   
watching us live to only be with them, to only mind them.   
And even now, a thousand years later, I suppose that these   
doubt has never truly left my mind, but it has only been   
stored away, something that will eat away at me forever,   
but never so much to really hurt me. To keep me from   
seeing the truth.  
  
The truth is that Serenity and Endymion love me. They   
love all of us. They love us to the extent of sacrificing   
their own bodies and dying for us, which they have done   
before and will do again in the future, as we, too, would   
and will do for them. But if all of the Senshi had decided   
to take the offers that Serenity and Endymion had made   
(yes, they made the offer to all 8 of us) and left, each of us   
following our dreams, there would have been no one left   
to protect them. No one to be with them when they   
needed someone to turn to.  
  
But most importantly, there would have been no one to   
love them.  
  
Of course, the people of this earth love Serenity and   
Endymion-afterall, how could they not? But no human, no   
person who had known _Usagi_ and _Mamoru_ , could   
love them as we do. Because the people of the earth only   
see the two people who stand before them now, and not   
the two teenagers who evolved into being such graceful   
and beautiful rulers. We saw them through their troubles,   
helped them through anything they ever needed help with-  
and with each passing trouble and time of need, the bond   
of love between all of us grew to be unbreakable.   
  
But they would have let us leave if we had decided to-  
calmly and quietly they offered us our freedom, and   
calmly and quietly they would have let us go. They   
unselfishly understood every single of us and our need to   
be what we thought each of us were truly destined to be.   
Priestess, doctor, singer, baker . . . It didn't matter to   
them--what mattered was the fact that they thought that as   
long as each of us were truly content with our lives, they   
could be, too.  
  
But it would never have been completely fair. After all, in   
the Queen and King's life, when did they ever have the   
chance to accomplish their dreams? Endymion wanted to   
be a doctor. He wanted to changes lives, to make up for   
the those he had lost in the years before he had met Usagi.   
Serenity wanted to be what she was best at: Usagi. She   
had wanted to marry Mamoru, to be a happy couple. To   
be 'normal.' To be a loving wife and mother.   
  
And yet, both had to give up their dreams for the sake of   
the world. For the sake of the people in the world. It was   
their destiny to be rulers of this planet. And yet, in the   
whirl of everything, Endymion and Serenity never lost   
sight of who they truly were or what they truly wanted:   
They were Usagi and Mamoru. Unity. One. They only   
wanted each other.  
  
And even though the dreams they had before becoming   
royalty once more had to be given up on, they still   
remember what their first dreams were, how they were   
like before having to conform to the life of being someone   
with so much power and life. They decided to take on   
their role of 'Creator.' They are symbols of life, our King   
and Queen. They represent the hopes of every human on   
this Earth and are the embodiment of our salvation in   
every single way.  
  
And though I am ashamed to admit this, I cannot say with   
honesty that we are the same. Our desires could have led   
us off the wrong path, and it was only because of Serenity   
and Endymion's gentle kindness and love that kept us   
from straying away from them. Because all of us have one   
realization:  
  
The dreams that we, too, had as civilians have   
disappeared into the past, even though it may seem like   
we are still clinging onto them. Our true dream is and   
always has been to protect the two people who we love   
the most in this world--the only two people that we are   
capable of loving in this world with such passion and   
intensity: Serenity and Endymion.   
  
We all know now that although the choices we made were   
all a part of our destiny, that it always was our destiny to   
stay by their sides and to protect them, destiny could have   
always changed. We made our destinies to be what we   
are. We chose to take the right path for the sake of   
everyone that we love; in our past lives, our present lives,   
and our future lives, no matter how distant each time may   
be.   
  
We accept who we are, our fates, and our lives. And until   
each individual accepts who they are and what they too   
are meant to be, it is only then that you will discover your   
true self.  
  
Your true fate.  
  
Your true desire.  
  
Your true dream.  
  
-- 


End file.
